I was diagnosed with Vaginismus shortly after returning from the honeymoon and after a week of tears and pain and frustration. This meant I had involuntary contractions of the pelvic muscles that made sex extremely painful or even impossible. What followed were the darkest few months of my life.
After talking with doctors and therapists, I began to realize that decades of "saving myself" had subconsciously convinced me that sex was actually bad, something to be avoided and not thought about. And now that it was "good," my body didn t know what to do, because it had spent so many years not letting itself get too excited around members of the opposite sex.
In fact, Vaginismus can be caused by, "Overly rigid parenting, unbalanced religious teaching My friends were not any more helpful after the wedding than they were before the wedding. I can t really blame them, though.
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What do you say to someone who s been waiting their whole life to experience such a basic human need, and now isn t physically able to do so? As I fought to find time on the calendar and money in the budget for daily physical therapy and weekly counseling, I found myself becoming enraged with everyone around me — my husband, my family, my friends, and most of all, God.
The injustice of it was more than I could bear.
I had worked so hard to remain a virgin for my husband, and now that I was married I was rewarded with nothing but stress and anxiety. Sadly, I m not alone. I find it a purer medium than more traditional dating sites such as OkCupid or Match. This method of seduction feels ideal to me, as I experience extreme anxiety when trying to maintain eye contact with strangers which is apparently what you do to meet people in the real world.
If I find someone attractive, I start scowling the moment our eyes meet.
On the flip side, when I find someone insufferable, I tend to smile broadly. I am in therapy. Photo choice and presentation communicates a lot about a person — it has made me examine what I find attractive, and not just physically. The problem is that if you have sex too soon, those chemicals will overshadow any serious flaws in your relationship. The easiest way to avoid this is to only have sex after you ve made the ultimate commitment--marriage.
Then you know your relationship is based on love and compatibility, not lust. There are other benefits to waiting: I never have to worry about pregnancy scares whee! It s challenging to remain satisfied. But my boyfriend and I have gotten creative and I ve probably had as many orgasms as the girls my age who are having sex!
I was raised in a deeply Catholic household, and lots of my parents values were passed on to me and to my siblings there are four of us--all planning to wait.
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